Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Picture this...you are sitting on the porch of your home 20 years from now. Are you happy and deeply satisfied with the decisions that you made in your lifetime, particularly the last 20 years of conscious living? Do you smile with the sense of having achieved the things that mattered to you? Do your eyes and smile sparkle and resonate with the depth of a life lived close to your true authenticity?
We need to change the things in our lives that bring worry and resentment. Just like that. It is not easy. We become enslaved to the more superficial elements of life and we trade them for a life of truth and engagement. It is not easy to just step away from a gradually escalating search for stuff that began when we started working. This coincides with a gradual imperceptible separation from what truly mattered to us. Until we can no longer isolate what that was. It haunts us in midlife as a nagging feeling that something is missing.
What if you did step off from the things that age your body and wear on your mind. Those who have been there say that when you move into the space where you truly belong, all things come easy. All the things you feared do not happen. You do not become a bag lady. You do not wander the house in your slippers wondering how to fill your days. Stepping off brings to mind images of stepping into an abyss.
What if you found out that you have 5 years left? How about 1 year? Changes how you look at things. You think that life will not go by so fast and yet it does. And the plan you had to change how you spend your time has fallen by the wayside squelched by the paradox of the devil you know versus the devil you don't know.
There is a gradual physical toll of living a life far from the core of who you are. A daily wear and tear that comes from worry and fear and negative stress. As opposed to the positive stress of living boldly. Cells that are constantly regenerating in an atmosphere of fear and anxiety must be very different than the ones made in a nurturing spirit centred body.
We can make small daily changes but at some point I think there are leaps to be made and then small daily changes and then leaps. And so on. It is the fear of those leaps that makes us compromise repeatedly and settle for choices that do not make our heart sing. Scary leaps make for a bumpy ride but they also make the view from the porch resonate with the clarity of a life well lived.
Friday, November 26, 2010
I had a call from a business today. She had been at a party the evening prior and she loved loved loved the napkins! So much so that she wants to sell them in her business, a gallery, restaurant and decorating business. So she had gone online to look for it, as the web address is on each napkin.
When I was speaking to her she said that they had so much fun with the napkins that she was going to become my biggest fan. She reinforced the conversation inspiring value of the product and the magic of her unsolicited enthusiasm was invaluable to me. She just gave that rock the final push to get it to the top of the mountain. She seemed like a person I might like to know. Easy going, irreverent and funny. And in total admiration of the product.
She reinforces the value of what I have created and renews my own enthusiasm for the project. We are working on the next release of 5 more SKU's and of course running to a deadline. We are moving production back to the US and the product quality that they have is amazing. This next line is exciting, maybe more so than the first.
Interesting and possible right now that this line could be my employment and wouldn't that be neat. Puts some real accountability on me to keep the line fresh and growing and always introducing new lines and products. Never had the experience of being totally accountable and having my pay level dependent on that. I am used to working for someone else. This would be a nice way exit stage left.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Our company grapevine has revealed that there are job losses in our division on the horizon. Interesting that I wax poetic about having a life that does not include the less desireable pieces of this job and yet when I find out I may be doing just that, I experience a deep anxiety. Change never was my thing...and yet any changes that have occurred in my life even the ones I had not planned for have resulted in a better life. So why not this one.
When I think about not having a job after a lifetime of working I picture myself aimlessly moving about the house. (I think I am even wearing slippers in that image and I do not even own slippers). My family has a lifestyle that counts on my pay check to cooperate. I wonder how I will describe who I am if I am not employed. I have two children who will be in University for 4 years. Those are all the negative thoughts. Got them out there. They are always the first ones to come to mind.
Chris Daughtry was right. "Be careful what you wish for...you might just get it all."
Here are the good thoughts to chase away the scary ones. I always have to work to see the brighter side although the dark side comes to me immediately. The business takes off. Already it generates adequate revenue that primarily goes to pay off the debt of beginning the company. Maybe there will be packages that will help out on this! Freedom to travel a little. If I have 20 years left I want to fill it with joy and new experiences. Maybe I can describe myself as a successful entrepreneur/adventurer someday. Liking that handle. Liking the idea of being mobile. Maybe I will have more time to get in shape and take those courses. These will add structure to my days and stop the slipper shuffling vision from becoming real. :)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I have not posted for a while. Life gets busy sometimes and you get so busy living it that you do not have time to write about it. Brings me back to the whole concept of being too busy to do the things that matter. If you made a list of all the things that fill your days and a list of all the things that are important to you, are there any items that overlap both lists. I hope so. But many days I don't think so. The ideal is to have both those lists looking similar but the more different the lists are, the less likely it is that you are living from the centre of your being.
It is definitely a process. Every day cannot be ideal. The idea is to move in the direction of your list of things that matter. Do one thing that matters to you every day. Every day. It is a start and it tends to be self propagating in the feelings of engagement that result. Creating an ideal life is hard work. Everything you have learned and experienced to date led you to this moment.
Remember the goal but remember that the journey is where we truly engage with our life. I had heard that so many times and in my exuberance to achieve thought it to be a little soft. But now I see it. The journey is the goal. We grow and change through our experiences. I want the business to thrive and survive but the effort to make that happen is where all the fun lies. And since I am learning not to be so future oriented it has allowed me to see that there is a journey and that there is growth and development along the way.
It goes back to a previous entry about letting life happen. You do all you can and then sit back and experience (not always enjoy) the journey.