Our company grapevine has revealed that there are job losses in our division on the horizon. Interesting that I wax poetic about having a life that does not include the less desireable pieces of this job and yet when I find out I may be doing just that, I experience a deep anxiety. Change never was my thing...and yet any changes that have occurred in my life even the ones I had not planned for have resulted in a better life. So why not this one.
When I think about not having a job after a lifetime of working I picture myself aimlessly moving about the house. (I think I am even wearing slippers in that image and I do not even own slippers). My family has a lifestyle that counts on my pay check to cooperate. I wonder how I will describe who I am if I am not employed. I have two children who will be in University for 4 years. Those are all the negative thoughts. Got them out there. They are always the first ones to come to mind.
Chris Daughtry was right. "Be careful what you wish for...you might just get it all."
Here are the good thoughts to chase away the scary ones. I always have to work to see the brighter side although the dark side comes to me immediately. The business takes off. Already it generates adequate revenue that primarily goes to pay off the debt of beginning the company. Maybe there will be packages that will help out on this! Freedom to travel a little. If I have 20 years left I want to fill it with joy and new experiences. Maybe I can describe myself as a successful entrepreneur/adventurer someday. Liking that handle. Liking the idea of being mobile. Maybe I will have more time to get in shape and take those courses. These will add structure to my days and stop the slipper shuffling vision from becoming real. :)
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